Today would be Tony Giudicessi, my Dad’s, 97th birthday. He was the son of Italian immigrants Francisco (Frank) and Grazia (Grace). His parents and grandparents relocated in Iowa from Terravecchia, Italy in the early 1900.
Dad was proud of his Italian heritage and it was important that I learn and understand the situation in which he was born. Discrimination isn’t something new to this country or city and he wanted me to understand there were words and phrases that were not acceptable to utter or tolerate. He also wanted me to respect others that were different than me. This was one of the many things he stood for.
I’m sure I’m not different than many oldest children when it comes to the expectation of your father. Average wasn’t acceptable. Respect was demanded and following the rules was the only way to avoid his stern words or punishment.
My younger life could be compared to trial and error. Sometime what I would did was accepted with praise and others with question.
It wasn’t until after I served in the military that our relationship became one of respect and love. A two time veteran respected my service and dedication to country.
Dad was the proud father we all hope to have. His love of family was always there even though he seldom told us. It wasn’t until he became a grandfather did we hear those words “I love you!”
Like most kids your relationship changes with your parents when you get married and have kids but Dad always stood ready to help when ever I needed support both emotionally and financially. He taught lessons he didn’t know he was teaching. One of his many phrases sticks with me to this day. When it comes to your children he would say “you’re a kid once but a parent for life.” Think about that a minute the next time one of your kids calls for help or support.
Later in life our relationship changed, as Dad aged it became more him asking his family for support, never financial but emotional support. The last five years of his life I made an attempt to call him everyday about 4PM. The calls varied in length from talking about the day’s activities, the Chicago Cubs, Dowling football, Shari’s travel or the grandkids and great grandkid’s activities. Some days the calls were short and he’d always send the signal when he wanted the conversation to end. Dad would simply say “we’ll see how it goes.” I still feel like I’m forgetting something about 4 PM each day and then I realize it would be time to call Dad.
As I look back over my life and the influence Dad had on me I marvel at how effective he was forming my life to be a lot like his. For years I would have denied that but today as I think about Dad, his birthday and his life I reflect on a line from his obituary “his life was fulfilled by a long-life of service to his family, country and faith.”
We won’t be celebrating Dad’s birthday tonight at Christopher’s like we did for so many years but I will raise a toast to a great person and better father. In his words, “we’ll see how it goes.”
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